


I wouldn't know what to say if I had you

by kaleidoscopeminds



Series: Tumblr Prompt Ficlets [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton has an unspecified job because I was too lazy to flesh this out properly, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oblivious Ashton, Pining, Pining Michael, Tumblr Prompt, hm lets see, idiots to lovers, more like, that's it that's the whole tiny plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26579947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidoscopeminds/pseuds/kaleidoscopeminds
Summary: “No, absolutely not,” Michael says, shaking his head.“But Michael,” Ashton says pleadingly. “You’d make the ideal fake-boyfriend.”Michael knows this to be true, but mainly because he’s actually in love with his best friend, something he’s spent the last five years desperately trying to conceal.Written for the prompt "all I do is drink coffee and say bad words"I'm aware that none of this is anything to do with this prompt
Relationships: Michael Clifford/Ashton Irwin
Series: Tumblr Prompt Ficlets [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1981132
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	I wouldn't know what to say if I had you

**Author's Note:**

> When Maggie prompts you Mashton then requests more fake dating aus in the world you know what you have to do! So written for my lovely [maggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/expectopatronuz/pseuds/expectopatronuz)and also the other members of the club who are obsessed with fake dating tropes (M and Beth I'm looking at you) 
> 
> Title from A Daydream Away by atl because of my dirty work kick this week

“I can’t believe I forgot,” Ashton groans, haphazardly pushing a hand through his hair and tapping furiously on his phone screen.

“You okay there Ash?” Michael puts Ashton’s coffee down in front of him before dropping into the seat opposite him.

“Shit. Shit. Fucking _fuck_. Fuck my life.” 

“Oh I’m Ashton Irwin and all I do is drink coffee and say bad words.” Michael puts on a pompous voice, laughing into his own coffee and watching Ashton stabbing his phone in frustration. 

“Oh my god no,” Ashton whines, dropping his phone onto the table and closing his eyes. 

“You want to share with the class?” Michael says amused, waiting for Ashton to finish his breakdown quietly.

“My boss is having a party which has been planned for ages and I promised I would go to, but I forgot it was _tonight_.” Ashton grimaces, taking a sip of his coffee.

“And you’re this upset because that means you can’t spend the evening with me eating pizza?” Michael says teasingly. “It’s not a big deal Ash.”

“No you don’t understand,” Ashton says, making a face. “I have to bring a plus one.”

“Why?” Michael asks. “Is it a requirement?”

“Because I told them I have a boyfriend,” Ashton mumbles into the rim of his mug.

Michael ignores the weird twist his stomach does at the thought of Ashton with a boyfriend and smiles wryly at Ashton.

“Wow who is the lucky man? He must be extremely extremely mysterious if I haven’t managed to catch a glimpse of him yet,” Michael says.

“Shut up, I only said that because my boss seemed dead set on setting me up with his daughter,” Ashton scowls. “Apparently ‘I’m gay’ isn’t a good enough reason to not want to date Lucy.”

Michael snorts, Ashton’s new boss seems like a decent enough guy but from what Ashton’s told him does sound unreasonably interested in Ashton’s personal life.

“So you’ve got, what, five hours to find a boyfriend?” Michael asks with a small laugh. “That’s going to be challenging even for you.”

“Shut up,” Ashton says, rolling his eyes and taking another drink from his mug. He pauses, then looks up at Michael with a contemplative look in his eye, and Michael knows him well enough to know he’s planning something. Michael feels his stomach drop and his heart rate increase when he realises just what Ashton’s planning, always able to read him like a book.

“No, absolutely not,” Michael says, shaking his head.

“But Michael,” Ashton says pleadingly. “You’d make the ideal fake-boyfriend.”

Michael knows this to be true, but mainly because he’s actually in love with his best friend, something he’s spent the last five years desperately trying to conceal. 

“Why can’t you just tell them you broke up with the aforementioned boyfriend?” Michael asks, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans surreptitiously, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

“Because Lucy is going to be there and he’ll try to set us up again I know it,” Ashton looks at Michael with a beseeching look. “This is perfect, you already know everything about me, and I know you’re available later because you only had plans with me.”

Michael shakes his head again, this was such a bad idea. He was just about able to keep a cap on his feelings for Ashton whilst doing friendly things but spending a whole evening pretending to be his boyfriend? Holding hands? Touching? Michael’s honestly not sure he would survive it. But Ashton’s looking at him imploringly, and Michael is weak, so fucking weak when it comes to Ashton, and he feels himself nodding.

“Fine,” his voice cracks slightly and he clears his throat.

Ashton smiles at him, sunny and wide, like Michael has hung the moon, and Michael can’t help but grin back.

He is so fucked.

* * *

“So I reckon we won’t have to stay too long,” Ashton says, pulling his shoes on. “Just make the rounds a couple of times, schmooze the right people, then we can come back here and order pizza.”

Michael had come to Ashton’s apartment before the party as it was closer and so they could arrive together, and Michael wishes this was like any other day when they would spend the evening on the sofa, eating take-out and shouting at bad reality TV. Instead he’s dressed in a stupid suit, getting ready to go to an event he’d rather die than be at, and has to pretend to be Ashton’s boyfriend to boot. Michael wonders what he did in his past life for him to be tortured in this way.

“Okay so how did we get together,” Michael asks, fiddling with his collar as he looks at himself in the mirror. He frowns at himself, he never likes the way he looks in formal clothes, he just looks awkward and wrong in them, Ashton on the other hand looks ridiculously good in his black shirt and well fitting black suit trousers, hair slicked back from his face. But Ashton always looks ridiculously good, Michael thinks sourly.

“Why don’t we say we were friends and then we figured out we liked each other,” Ashton says, coming to stand behind Michael. “As close to the truth as possible, makes it easier to remember.”

Michael is honestly going to die, he’s sure of it. 

“Yeah, okay,” he manages to get out, shakily.

“Relax, Mikey,” Ashton says, reaching up to sort Michael’s collar out for him, brushing his fingers along the back of his neck and smoothing his hands over his shoulders. Michael represses a shiver under Ashton’s hands. “No one will suspect a thing, we make a great couple.”

And doesn’t Michael fucking know it, he thinks, looking at the two of them stood in the mirror.

“You look great,” Ashton says quietly, dropping his chin onto Michael’s shoulder for a second before sweeping his hand over Michael’s back and pulling away.

For about the fiftieth time that day Michael thinks what a bad idea this is. 

* * *

Okay so maybe it could be _worse_. Michael has to admit he kind of likes being at Ashton’s side, his hand slipping round Michael’s waist as he pulls them from group to group, Ashton murmuring in his ear who each person is as they approach, Ashton introducing Michael as his boyfriend and dropping a kiss on his cheek every now again. As long as Michael ignores the fact that knowing it’s not real cracks a hole in his chest the size of Texas, it’s actually sort of nice. Ashton keeps smiling at him encouragingly, and Michael thinks that occasionally he gets an especially fond look in his eyes, but that’s probably Michael’s brain getting a little over-active.

“That’s Steve, my boss,” Ashton murmurs to Michael as they approach an older man and woman, standing with a younger woman who’s about Michael’s age, maybe a couple of years younger. “That’s Angela, the wife, and Lucy, the dreaded daughter.”

Michael pinches Ashton’s side. “Don’t be rude, she might be nice,” Michael reprimands quietly.

Ashton just rolls his eyes at Michael before putting his million dollar smile on as they walk up to the group. Michael is endlessly envious of the way Ashton can fit into any situation, effortlessly charming and genial, where Michael stutters and muddles his way through social situations.

“Ashton!” Steve, the boss, booms at the two of them. “There you are! And who’s this?”

“Hi Steve, great to see you,” Ashton says, a smile on his face. “This is my boyfriend, Michael. Michael, this is Steve, my wonderful boss.” 

“This is my wife Angela, and daughter Lucy,” Steve responds, gesturing fondly at his family. “So this is the famous boyfriend?” He looks at Michael with interest.

Michael smiles, a little uncomfortably, but Steve doesn’t seem to be showing any ill-feeling towards the two of them. He does notice however, Lucy, give Ashton a very deliberate look up and down. He moves slightly closer and moves a hand to rest on Ashton’s hip possessively, if he’s going to pretend to be the boyfriend, he’s going to fucking pretend to be the boyfriend.

“So how did the two of you meet?” Steve asks.

Ashton gives Michael a grin, slipping his fingers into the spaces between Michael’s on his hip before turning back to Steve and his family. “We met at college, we were roommates, and we were best friends almost immediately. I drove him mad by drumming on anything and everything without my kit and he wound me up by playing video games into the early hours of the morning, but even that couldn’t drive us apart.” Ashton laughs fondly at the memory before continuing. “After college we moved to LA at the same time and shared a shoebox apartment until we got grown up jobs and managed to afford to live separately, but I missed him as soon as he moved out. It was only recently we figured out we were meant to be together though.”

Michael’s heart is racing and he feels that crevice in his chest widen with every word Ashton speaks. Michael aches with the want of it, with the longing in him growing unmanageably large, fighting its way out of the chasm that’s been split down the very centre of him. He needs Ashton to stop talking immediately but also he thinks he might die if he doesn’t hear every word of this, just once, real for just a second. 

“Oh how adorable,” Angela coos. “Michael lets hear your side, how did you know Ashton was the right one?”

Michael blinks and flexes his fingers in Ashton’s grip. He feels Ashton’s other hand come up underneath his jacket to rest on the small of his back, fingers stroking soothingly.

“I mean how could I not?” Michael starts quietly, then throws caution to the wind, the words tumbling out of him before he can stop them. “He’s the kindest, most passionate and strongest person I’ve ever met. Everything he does he does with so much purpose and love. He’s been endlessly supportive, the best friend I’ve ever had and the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He takes a deep breath. “How could I not fall in love with Ashton Irwin? It was inevitable.”

There’s a tense pause as he feels Ashton turn his head to look at him, and Michael resolutely avoids his eyes, continuing to look at the smiling family in front of him. Michael vaguely hears Angela cooing some more at the two of them, but everything has faded to white noise as he feels Ashton’s eyes bore into the side of his face.

“Could you excuse us for a second?” Ashton says brusquely, not waiting for an answer, just grabbing Michael’s hand and dragging him out of the room and outside the back door. 

Michael takes a deep breath of fresh air as they stand next to a dumpster, nervously looking at Ashton who’s looking back at him intensely, raking his hands through his hair. 

“Ashton what‒” Michael starts.

“Did you mean it?” Ashton interrupts him, looking at him fiercely with something imperceptible in his eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Michael says, heart racing and hands shaking.

“Michael please,” Ashton begs. “Did you actually mean it?” and Michael hears his voice trembling slightly. It’s that which does it for Michael, as if he’s ever been able to deny Ashton anything.

“Of course I meant it,” Michael says quietly. 

The next thing he knows, he’s pressed up against the wall and Ashton’s lips are on his. Michael inhales his own gasp, brings his arms up to wrap around Ashton’s neck, and kisses back with everything he’s got.

After a few seconds Ashton breaks away to rest his forehead on Michael’s. “Why didn’t you say anything?” He says breathlessly.

“Because we’re best friends. Because you don’t like me like that. Because it could ruin everything,” Michael whispers, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Ashton. “You don’t have to pretend for me, Ashton. Please don’t.”

“Michael, _Michael_ ,” Ashton breathes, and Michael feels his hand cradle the back of his head. “I love you.” Ashton laughs, like he’s startled himself by the fact.

Michael opens his eyes and is met with a burning look in Ashton’s that he’s never seen before. Ashton leans in to kiss him again but Michael pulls back.

“No, Ashton I can’t, you don’t actually mean that” Michael says shakily. “This means more to me than it does to you and I can’t, I can’t do it.”

Ashton moves with Michael and stays with his cheek pressed against Michael’s, breathing heavily in his ear. “You don’t know that Mikey. This means everything.”

“But I do, you can’t just decide now that you love me,” Michael says desperately. His brain is going a hundred miles an hour, everything he’s ever wanted has been laid out in front of him and he desperately wants to grasp it but it seems so unrealistic, that Ashton could love him back.

“I haven’t just decided now, I think I was all along I just didn’t _know_.” Ashton leans back and looks at him earnestly, eyes glittering. “But God, this whole evening having you here, pretending to be my boyfriend I realised how much I wanted it to be real, how much I wanted to have you there under my arm every damn day.” He pauses to brush his hand through Michael’s hair. “How long have you loved me for Michael? When did you know?”

“From that day in the library,” Michael says, looking down, not able to look at Ashton when he looks at him like that. “I text you complaining I was cold, and you turned up with my sweater and my favourite coffee.”

He hears Ashton inhale sharply. “That was the first month of freshman year, Michael. That was five years ago.”

“I know,” Michael whispers, still looking down.

He feels Ashton’s hand come up and pull his chin up to look at him, and then he’s pressing kisses to Michael’s face, his forehead, his cheeks, his nose. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’m slow and stupid,” he murmurs, interspersed with kisses. “Will you let me love you now? Even though I’m dumb and oblivious and undeserving?” 

Michael is frozen, unable to process everything that’s happening, only able to blink at Ashton, hands still gripping his shoulders loosely. 

“You actually want to be with me?” He says slowly. “You… love me?”

Ashton laughs. “Yes I love you, I might have only realised ten minutes ago but I love you and I want to be with you, I promise. Be with me Michael, be my real boyfriend.”

“Okay,” Michael says simply, lips spreading slowly into a smile.

“Okay?” Ashton says, hazel eyes sparkling at Michael more than ever. 

Michael nods, smiling even wider. 

“Can I kiss you now please?” Ashton asks.

Michael nods and Ashton immediately presses their lips back together. Michael sighs into it, hands gripping Ashton’s shoulders and pulling him closer, and vaguely wonders whether he’ll ever be able to refuse anything Ashton asks him.

**Author's Note:**

> come and talk to me on [tumblr](kaleidoscopeminds.tumblr.com)


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